A post written out of boredom.

I haven't written a post out of sheer boredom for a long time. Not since Hamilton in fact. Well I am that bored and now I don't even have any Germans to entertain me. So to keep me occupied I shall impart to you my musings on German foreign policy.

They are taking over the world you see. Slowly but surely. No, you say? They've learned from the past and now are no longer bent on world domination, that we should look to the Americans or the ever 'evil' Russians for plans of world domination. Well you're right about one thing they have learned from their mistakes. At some unspecified time after world war 2 the 'secret leaders' of Germany sat down to discuss their next move. How they would take back what was rightfully theirs and make the rest of the world pay for the embarrassment that followed the second world war. Seated at the table were all the usual evil villain type suspects, they spoke in that stereotypical evil villain accent.
"Ve must take back vaht vas lost" they said. "But how to do it?"
"Build a massive army, the like of which the world has never seen" said one.
This idea was dismissed.
"Utilize the hatred and despair currently widespread in the country and turn it on an easy to single out minority group, then use said hatred to our own means"
This man was kindly asked to leave.
"Ve could just not take over the vorld you know? Just because ve are Germans does not mean ve must be evil. Vhy can't we all just get along?"
There was an uneasy silence followed by an abrupt cough. This man bowed his head and slunk back in shame.
"Gentlemen, I shall present to you the weapon of the future." said another, he was tall wore a uniform complete with hat and had an eye patch of course "Behold, the BP mk1" A man then walked to the center of the assorted villains. They could tell he was not one of them instantly. His hair was not neat  and tightly cut as was customary, it was just a little bit and ever so slightly messy. He wore a sleeveless top with "Save water, drink beer" written on the front. He wore sandals and a pair of Hawaiian shorts with those really big pockets.

"Vith this veapon ve shall rule the world. Gentlemen, this is a backpacker"
There was murmurs of confusion. How could such a creature help them take over the world? What use could it possibly be? It didn't even look like a stereotypical German. Mr. eyepatch explained ; First every second new born child would be fitted with a computer chip when born. The first job of this computer would be to instill within the child a wish to travel and broaden their horizons. So half the population of Germany would go and make their way elsewhere in the world. The second function gave them a sense of humor and made them appear to be easy going and nice individuals*. To lull the world into a false sense of confidence. These backpackers then bide their time. Some even settling down, building families. All their offspring of course will be chipped too.  The the third and final function of the chip. Well lets just say we don't really ever want to see this function implemented. For the backpackers reach far and number many and the world would be able to withstand their rise.**


*You ever meet those really dull Germans? You know the ones that you'd cross a busy motor way to avoid. Well they're the rare few that travel and were not actually chipped when born.
**You see what happens when I get too bored!? I do hope I haven't insulted any of my German friends with this post. You might think I'm a bit mad but go traveling for a while and you'll see how many of them there are...