Hamilton, epitome of dullness.

This week we are helping conserve some peat lakes outside the city(it's not much of a city) of Hamilton. Thus far this has involved a lot of "Transplanting". What is transplanting you might ask, it sounds kind of cool. It's not. We spend ages digging up these plants and move them to a location slightly further away(we're talking a couple of metres) then dig another hole and put them there. I am assured that it is very important work.
I wouldn't really mind this if we were somewhere nice, but this place seems to be the equivalent of the midlands in Ireland nothing even slightly interesting aside from some distant hills that you can't even see if it's cloudy.
We are also being supervised by a clearly unhinged kiwi farmer and his equally mad dog Turbo(who has a brother I've yet to meet called Diesel, I think this may have been a joke). Its very funny to listen to him though, he talks to the Germans and Asians in the same way he talks to his dog. Except for when anything needs to be explained, then he speaks really fast, with his thick kiwi accent. Then laughs at the expressions on their faces
"Heh eh! Didn't understand a bloody word I said eh?"
Will update you further on this place shortly...

DEATH TO ALL FOREIGNERS( The New Zealand conservation mantra)

Black Swan... Very strange.
The greatest volunteer team of all time

I have spent the past week hacking at non natives with a saw. Plants that is. Obviously. I know there was a few of you there thinking "Wow its finally happened, he's lost the plot entirely"

You'd be surprised at how much death is involved with conservation work. Yeah I know you'd think seeing as it is called conservation work there'd be more actual conserving involved really. I'm starting to get the impression that CVNZ may be some kind extremist plant killing group cunningly disguised as a volunteer organisation. Since I started with CVNZ I have spent most of my time killing plants. When not killing plants we kill small mammals(well set up the traps to do so anyway). You see the New Zealanders are very upset that all these non-native plants and animals(all land mammals here are non-native) are here stealing all the resources from the natives and they believe that the only way their native flora and fauna will survive is by a mass genocide of all plant and wildlife that is non kiwi. Isn't this sounding a bit familiar? Think circa 1940's...

But yeah, you'd be amazed at what they actually consider weeds here. Back home it is a term reserved for little plants that grow between the cracks in the footpath. Here everything is a weed. I had to kill a couple of great big trees the other day. By "ring barking" this is botanical equivalent of cutting somethings throat, the tree dies slowly over a number of years afterwards. They had us chopping down weeds on a little forest track there the other day, when we were done it was a clearing. It looked the scene of some kind of tree massacre. Nearly all their plants are in fact weeds. In the New Zealand dictionary the definition of weed is actually "Plant from somewhere else.

More plant killing lined up for next. At a peat lake this time. Terribly exciting stuff eh?

Right, don't really have much else to say. I'm off to the zoo. I'll keep ye posted on my plant murdering antics.

The turkey incident

It has since been explained to me that in the aforementioned mix up between thirty and turkey the Korean girls believed that I telling they had to prepare a turkey meal for us. At 8 in the morning...

Just so you know.

One more thing

They mostly do ales here. Only two kinds of larger available normally on tap. WHY? Why would you inflict ale upon a nation?

How did that happen?

Here's the thing. I was sitting in a pub last night, at a gig with 4 of the other volunteers. 4 people I barely know. So anyway I'm sitting in this pub (The Dogs Bollix) and watching this band. And suddenly it hits me. I'm at a pub over 10000 miles from home, with three brits and a german. How exactly did this happen? The people who used to ask me before I left if it had "hit me" yet, well last night it officially hit me. Very hard on the head, simulated the effects of drunkeness and then made me slander quite heavily the German man in the group. (Who had it coming admittedly but probably should not have got it like this).
But anyway, it hit me last night.
On the plus side Kiwi rock seems pretty cool. Downside, I now have to do four more weeks work with a person who I insulted in front of quite a few other people. Sounds like fun eh? Oh well, I've bought House and Black Books so I'm happy out.

Out of contact

Just to let ye all know, it'll probably be very rare that I get a chance to contact ye for the duration of the volunteer thing. So if you don't hear from me don't worry I am still alive.

Hills, Hills and more hills.

The order of these pictures is a bit messed up. Thats a very hazy view from the highest point in the ranges.(Where we had to work one day)
Hunua Falls, just down the road from where I was staying
A bit of a fairly typical track, this one is in Waihete I think
The Falls again
A river with forest type area
View from the "Cafe" lookout, it was the midway point on the mountain
I loved this picture so much I put it in twice(I don't know how to delete it)
One Tree Hill

It seems ever since I left home all I have been doing is walking up hills. When I got to San Francisco I spent half my time traipsing up and down hills, when I was in search of a hostel. In L.A I had a brief break from hills.

Then I got here.

For the first few days I went sightseeing, all their sights are either on hills or are hills. I walked up three different mountains in my first days and also all around an island called Waihete which is, shockingly, very hilly. Now I didn't really mind at the time this was because I didn't realize what volunteer work here consisted of.

For the past five days I've been working in the Hunua Ranges, its basically a vast mountainous rain forest area.( Made up mostly of gigantic ferns, that can grow up to 20 meters high I am informed). The first day was quite boring we spent it putting plants into pots. The second day we had a 4km hike up steep slopes before we even got to where we were working. It was great fun. And then we had the awesome job of spreading gravel on steps. So up and down the mountain with big buckets of gravel. Even more fun.

The next two days we spent cutting tracks for bait lines. On near vertical slopes in the forest, I spent bout 50 % of the time falling, 25% getting tangled in the things and just about the other 25% cutting. Most of you will know how naturally clumsy I am so just try and imagine me trying to work my way down steep rain forest hills in the rain. With a clippers. Amazingly neither me or my fellow volunteers have sustained any injuries yet.

Oh yeah it might sound like I'm a bit bitter bout the whole but I'm not at all. Having a great time, and the ranges were amazing. The few times I managed to keep my balance long enough to look anyway. Also the volunteers are grand, a good laugh most of them. And the Germans are cool. I know it's mental, who'd have thought it. Fun Germans. One of them even sings Irish rebel songs. There's also two Koreans who don't speak very much English* and generally just clean things up and smile. Not quite sure what I'm going to do for the weekend now.

*eg. I was elected to explain to them that we wouldn't have to leave til half past. The conversation went as follows.

Me: Hey girls just to let ye know we don't have to leave til half past eight.

Girls:*stare in silence*

Me: We don't have to go *makes "going" gesture with hand* til half eight. *points at time on phone*

Girls: What is halfe?

Me: 8 30, we don't have to leave til 8 30

Girls: *Nod and smile, clearly not understanding anything I've just said*

Me: E-I-G-H-T T-H-I-R-T-Y

Girls: *Giggling* Ah a turkey. Yes we understand.

Some while later I did manage to explain to them using both my phone and watch, at this point it was time to go though.